Corruption of My Writing Spirit

12:08 AM
4/10/2011
I’ve always wanted to tell a story that could change the world each reader at a time. However, it was a dream that could never be reached. Not everyone has the talent to tell stories as clearly as they see them in their minds. Not everyone has the talent to write stories that almost every single person in the world would love to read. In fact, it is hard just to admit that I am probably the worse storyteller of all times.
I grew up loving to tell stories, first starting out as lies, then becoming elaborate stories, turning into fantasies and novels from my imagination. There wasn’t a single word anyone told me that could change my mind, if all they could say to me was that I was horrible at it. However, years come by and each time I met a failure I kept trying to stand back up. I never realized that the more times I had to stand back up to reach my dreams, the more the ground I stood on sunk lower. For, as I began to realize how to keep reaching higher, it was the same thing that sunk the foundations that originally made me stand up to reach for this dream. I’d completely lost the reason I first had this dream to tell a story that could change the world.
Someone once said to me that, “there is no such thing as a pure heart.” I reluctantly agreed, but in my heart I didn’t believe. I trusted in the purity of hearts and the cleansing of souls. The corruption happens in the spirit—the spirit to keep going, to keep fighting, to continue even when it is 1 against all; even when it is zero out of 6 billion… However, as I kept standing up to reach towards the dream of a story that could change the world, the purity of my spirit became corrupted. I cannot write with all my heart anymore. It hurts to say, but it is true. I cannot write the lines my heart screams, because my corrupted spirit is deaf to the voice of my heart. I cannot write what my heart sees any longer… I no longer can write with the same voice, the same heart, the same dream that I started out with.
Now, I can only write what my eyes can see. My heart is blind and my spirit is corrupt.